Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Name Game

The name change.
I think most brides would agree that this is a sticky subject.

My grandparents didn't give my mom a middle name and when she got married she slid her maiden name over and added my dad's last name. For a long time I assumed this was what all women did, but as I grew up I realized that this was only one option. I know women who have kept their maiden names, taken their husband's, hyphenated, and combined their last name with their hubby's last name.

Jus and I have talked about our (well, my) options:

1. Jus takes my name.
I can't tell you how many times I've tried to convince Jus to take my easy, not too popular four letter last name. Our town is fairly conventional and Jus comes from a very traditional family and I have a feeling if I were to convince him my FFIL might keel over from a heart attack.

2. Hyphenate our last names.
I've never cared for hyphenating last names, I can't imagine if our hyphenated child married a hyphenated children which would result in our grandchildren being a quadruple hyphen.

3. Combine our last names to make our very own name.
The funniest option would be to combine our last names. I'll throw anonymity to the wind and let you know that if we combined last names our options would be Leyd (pronounced laid), Boyman, or Bleman (bame-man). Clearly, this option is our first choice in terms of touring our children.

4. I drop my middle name, slide my last name over, and add his last name.
Honestly, my favorite option is doing what my mom did. I'm not particularly attached to my middle name and would be happy to become Cole MyLastName Jus'sLastName. I love the idea of having a "team name" and even though I will be loosing the name I have always had it's pretty excited to think of sharing a name with my husband.

5. Jus's option.
One thing I love is when the man takes the woman's last name as a second middle name. I think it is incredibly sweet for the man to acknowledge that he is joining the bride's family just as much as she is joining his. Jus is pretty responsive to this option which makes my heart happy.

While I was calligraphing place cards this weekend I spotted a card that read Cole Jus'sLastName and asked Jus who that was. Seeing my new name is strange and I'm sure I'll be uncomfortable with it for a while, but I've been practicing my new signature (how middle school of me!) and hopefully as the days go on I'll feel more comfortable with my future name change.

How are you handling the name game?


  1. My sister is getting married in November and she was asking me the same thing at dinner tonight. It is tricky; I'm not sure what to advise her. If I were getting married, it would be a no-brainer that I would keep my surname because from a professional registration point of view, it is a total pain to change your name as a doctor. Although, if I were marrying someone with a nice short surname (mine has 8 letters) I would consider taking it to make letter-signing and form-filling easier.

  2. I changed my name, but I'm in the middle of my doctorate and I always said if I had finished by the time we got married I would keep it for professional issues. Since I'm nowhere near done. I made my maiden last name my middle name (I didn't have one) and took my husband's last name. I have to say though it has taken me a pretty long time to start calling myself by that name. I had a bit of an identity crisis. I do like that I went from a very difficult middle eastern name to a simple 5 letter american name. It makes flying so much easier!